Who Started?

Brief history on Sourdough:
This bread is one that contains not only yeast, but an active culture known as Lactobacillus. This bacteria is defined by its ability to turn lactose and sugar into lactic acid. It is a bacteria that everyone who is concerned about a healthy digestive system should be familiar with. It is one of the many good living creatures found in Flora, the good bacteria in our intestines which help us break down and absorb nutrients. Lactobacillus is also responsible for other amazing edibles like sauerkraut, yogurt, cheese, beer, and even wine. If it is fermented and edible, you will more than likely find Lactobacillus in there. So as this dough rises the cultures eat away at sugars and produce lactic acid, as mentioned before. This lactic acid is responsible for the tangy and sour flavors which Sourdough bread is known for. Though, in order to begin making this tasty bread we must first give life to the culture or also known as "the starter".

Here is our attempt at making a Sourdough starter.
In a clean glass bowl a mixture of All Purpose Flour, Yeast, and Sugar was added. Then warm water (43.3 C) was slowly added. It is to be left in an area with a temperature no lower than 21.1 C or higher than 32.2 C for five days. I will continue to mix once a day. By then, if all goes according to planned, the dough will take on a bubbly appearance and have a tasty sour smell to it. So fingers crossed and here we go.

Fry Hard

While recently entertaining some guests we decided to cook up some grub to snack on. One of the items cooked was a trial of how the gluten free flour mix we recently created would hold up in a fryer. What better way to test that than to fry chicken and what better part of the chicken to fry than the heart. It is a flavorful muscle that maintains it's juiciness through most cooking processes. Our first attempt was a perfect success. They were passed around the table and dipped in whole grain mustard and sriracha. Our second attempt seemed to not be as great as the first. There were several factors that aided in the loss of quality. We  ran out of Potato Flour and substituted it in the mix with Sorghum Flour. I also had other items cooking which needed attention so I thought I would batter the hearts ahead of time while the fryer came up to the proper frying temperature. While the battered hearts rested the buttermilk they were marinating in activated the starch in the mix and did not allow the crust to crisp up in the fryer. Though, the poor quality crust did not stop us from eating the chicken hearts we were a bit sad thinking of how good they were the first time.

Yeast Coast

Recent work with yeast inspired the craving for Gluten Free Doughnuts. With the help of Potato Flour, Sorghum Flour, Guar Gum, and a few other stabilizers a nice batter was formed. Though, the flavor and texture was what we were looking for, the doughnuts themselves were a bit unsightly. Part of the reason may be due to the oil we were using. It had previously been recycled from such jobs as Hot Wings, French Fries, and Fried Chicken Hearts. The form of these tasty bites could use some work too. Soon to come from this base recipe: Sweet Tea Doughnuts.

Flop With No Fix (yet)

So I had mentioned before that a savory Pizzelle was in the works. There was a problem. It didn't work. Well at least the one I want to work didn't. 

Who doesn't love Frites and Steak Tartar? The attempt was to put Potato Chips into the Pizzelle recipe and serve it with steak tartar in sort of an ice cream sandwich presentation. I was hoping the Potato Chip Pizzelle would come out of the press just as crispy as the original recipe. It did, but not for long. The high amount of oil that the potato chips contained seemed to make them soggy and highly flexible. After letting them cool uncovered in the refrigerator the crisp I was looking for was achieved, but the cooled fat released from the fried potatoes left a undesirable flavor. 

A possible fix would be to get rid of the original recipe all together. If I could do a pizzelle with milk (or almond milk) it would help me eliminate the excessive amount of oil. Steeping the potato chips in the milk then straining them would extract the flavor, possibly intensify, and preserve the flavor I am aiming for.

Pizzelle

While still on the path of Gluten Free pastries Lori keeps producing some great stuff. She purchased a Pizzelle Press and has been going nuts with it. Her first batter recipe included the same all purpose flour substitute ratio as the Carrot Cake. While still warm she was able to fold and curl them to proper shapes for filling. As we were shopping for dinner last night we spotted Almond Flour on the shelf. Adding the milled blanched almonds into the flour ratio took the recipe to whole new level. The nutty flavor and texture gave the Pizzelles exactly what was need to make the perfectly rounded in flavor. Leaving them uncovered to cool in the refrigerator dried them out just enough to have a perfect crisp. I cannot stop snacking on them. A savory version is in the making.

I Just Don't Carrot Cake

This past weekend was spent trying to kill two birds with one stone. Lori and I have been aching to get back into the kitchen with our testing and have also been meaning to have her parents and grandmother over for dinner. So we did just that. Due to the horrible heat that has been a real jerk recently I decided to open the meal with some fresher cheeses and an Alsatian riesling. I was even able to find some pretty decent Coppa at the market. The main part of the dinner was a safety net of pork belly and Cote du Rhone. Though the highlight of the meal was Lori's last minute creation of a GLUTEN FREE CURRY CARROT CAKE. The key factors in this amazing cake was the combination of stabilizers used to replace the flour. It goes as so:

Rice Flour 

Potato Starch

Tapioca Starch

Xanthan Gum

The carrot was grated with a microplane rather than a harsh cheese grater. After the cake was baked off it was crumbled and combined with softened cream cheese that had been mixed with toasted curry (heavy on the turmeric). Then came the FAIL. Lori decided to choose white chocolate chips in hopes that it would create a crisp shell on the outside rather than a soft frosting. The white chocolate began to clump like waxy clay in the double broiler while trying to melt it. To help soften the clumpy mess we used a bit of almond milk. The result was an accidental success. The chocolate formed a dense sheet comparable to modeling chocolate. It was a perfect compliment to the texture of the cake.

I couldn't think of a better way to end the meal. 

Updates

We've been missing!
Our apologies for our recent absence, but we guaranty the things we have planned will certainly make up for it.

We have been occupied by a recent move to a new home. What does this mean for Homemade Fails you ask? Well we have a new and better equipped kitchen to conduct our attempts out of. We also have a new source for stabilizers and local product.

Coming soon: the opportunity to try our perfected attempts first hand along with beer tastings by an amazing local brewer. More details to come soon.

Summer Flavors

Sunflower Sprouts are making Texas proud right now. This is such a wonderful flavor in a great form.

Though, to avoid unintended cryoblanching be sure to place them in your refrigerator in the proper spot and not carelessly just because you are in a rush to see a bad movie.

Easter Schmeaster

As the defining traditions of Easter have become processed we thought so would be our approach. In hopes to break traditions out of their shell (see what I did there) we thought we would use the commercial influence already in place and have fun with it. It was a large sugary mess.

Now not all items were used, but more so used as inspiration. There was no spark for anything spectacular. Lori had been talking all week about Sushi Peeps she had seen done in the Serious Eats Community. It was a lot of fun assembling them, but eating the scraps produced from the assembly was enough to not partake in eating a roll. 

Ever since the weather has gotten warm I've been enjoying flavors that I had not gotten into for awhile. I had a wonderful drink that included gin and turmeric while out with a friend one evening. I enjoyed it so much I went back the following week to have it again. I have also been starting my mornings lately with yogurt or ricotta. While thinking of what could be done for an Easter dish these flavors were still bouncing around in my head. This was the result and all the problems that came with it:

RICOTTA turmeric jelly beans, coffee

Ricotta

My first attempt at the cheese came out a little firm and hard to work with due to its long hanging time. After observing the rate in which the whey drains I was able to hold the right amount of moisture to maintain a silky texture on the tongue.

Turmeric Jelly Beans

I found Tapioca Starch, Xanthan Gum, and Agar Agar gave me the texture I was looking for to go with the Ricotta. I also added a little Sriracha for heat.

Coffee

Instant Coffee Crystals 

Problem: 

I lacked the proper molds to form the beans so I made indentions with my pinky finger in tapioca starch to get the desired shape. I then poured the fluid gel at room temp into the "molds". The result left a milky film effect on the part of the bean that settled in the starch. 

Fix:

I was unable to think of a fix with the items I had on hand. Though, I was able to find jelly bean molds online for a decent price.

As the beans sat in the bed of white starch I couldn't help, but notice they looked like eggs so I thought I'd have some fun and make some Sunny Side Up Ricotta. Timing the setting of the Agar just right I was able to still have a runny yolk.

Throw in some comforting Chicken Adobo, Lumpia, and Cava and that was our Easter Sunday. 

Greetings

Welcome to Homemade Fails. A blog documenting the unsuccessful edible experiments of Lori & Albert.
Our approach is attempts at dishes with dietary and allergenic restrictions using modern techniques. The goal is to post our failed attempts in hopes that others and ourselves can learn from our mistakes or just enjoy a good laugh at our expense.

With that being said, we hope you enjoy our blunders as much as we hate them.

Cheers,
Lori & Albert